


In which Limbs are Removed

by preblematic



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Gen, Hanji is chopping off bits of Eren for experiments and watching them grow back, Humor, That's it, hopefully, i did the fanfiction thing, possible ooc, that's the story, this is my first time be gentle, what do i tag this as
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-14
Updated: 2013-09-14
Packaged: 2017-12-26 12:51:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/966131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/preblematic/pseuds/preblematic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren wakes up with a missing arm. Things spiral downward from there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In which Limbs are Removed

**Author's Note:**

> I’m really nervous about posting this. Based on a prompt my friend gave me. This is—hopefully—funny and kind of fluffy I guess. Ereri if you squint, really hard. Possibly OOC since i've never written fanfiction before.

Eren woke up with a numb left arm and an eyeful of Hanji.

“Eren!” she said,” How do you feel?! Are you overly warm? Fatigued? Do you feel any burning rage?”

“Do I—what?” Eren asked, head jerking back from the one so close to his. “What are you talking about?” He went to push himself up into a sitting position, but found that his left arm was completely immobile. He must have slept on it wrong.

Instead of answering right away, Hanji hoisted him up into a sitting position, leaning against the wall. “I’m talking about this!” She held up what appeared to be a…severed arm? The left one to be exact.

Hanji looked expectantly from the arm to Eren and back again. Eren blinked groggily, trying to make sense of what she meant. As his brain functions came back to him, he realized that there was a clean bandage wrapped around his chest, starting from where his left arm _used_ to be attached to his shoulder.

“Did you _cut off my arm_!?” Eren exclaimed. Hanji nodded proudly. “ _Why_?”

“Because!” she said, hugging the arm—Eren’s arm—slightly with glee,” I wanted to see if your limbs would grow back naturally, or if a full shift to your titan form was required. It seems that small things—like your tooth—will grow back naturally, but, although your body healed the wound spectacularly quickly,” her eyes lit up like she was remembering a highlight of her life,” it’s not capable of regrowing entire limbs without the benefit of your Titan self.”

“You _cut off my **arm**_ ,” Eren said again.

“You’re really hung up on that.”

“What if it doesn’t grow back?!”

She paused for a moment. “Why wouldn’t it?” she asked.

“I don’t know! But what if it doesn’t?”

 

It did, in fact, grow back next time he shifted, but he was still kind of mad about having his arm sawed off in his sleep. Little did he know that that would be the most painless experiment.

Next, Hanji cut off his ear, while he was talking to Corporal Levi. He screamed in a manner that could only be described as little girlish and crumbled to the ground. “What the hell?!” he screamed, clutching the gaping wound on the side of his head.

“Hanji, what are you doing?” Levi asked.

“Eren!” Hanji said,” Let me see! Move your hand!” She pulled his hand away from the wound just as it started steaming. She watched the skin repair itself and the ear knit itself together out of thin air. The process took about two minutes, and, if Eren had been paying attention and _not_ in agonizing pain, he would have noticed that Hanji was actually drooling.

“That hurt!” Eren said, standing up.

“Life is pain get used to it,” Levi said, wiping away the dirt that Eren had managed to get on the corporal’s pants

Eren’s eyebrows scrunched together. “D-did you just make a joke, sir?” He legitimately was not sure if Levi was attempting humor or actually trying to impart some kind of life advice to him.

“What do you think, brat?”

 

Having parts of his body cut off at random intervals was a thing that Eren never thought he would have to get used to, but he did. So far his arm, ear, toe, foot, half of his leg, and his left thumb had been sacrificed. The general procedure was Hanji running at him full speed—battle cry included—with a Titan blade in one hand and a notebook in the other.

There was not really a set schedule, but there were a few things all the instances seemed to have in common. It never happened when Mikasa was around, because Hanji did actually value her life, despite popular belief. No one who was present ever talked about it. And Levi was almost always there, probably in case Eren’s Titan went haywire. Or maybe he was just protective.

Eren was cool with it for the most part. It was a little weird having his extremities cut off at random, but Hanji kept him updated on all the new things she was learning from examining them. So he at least knew she wasn’t hiding them in a drawer somewhere to drool over. Well, she may have still been doing that, but he hoped not.

One day, however, about a month after the ear incident, he had to draw the line.

“Absolutely not!” Eren and Levi yelled simultaneously. Eren spared a moment to throw a confused glance toward the shorter man before he continued.

“No! No! No! Hell. Fucking. _No_. You are _not_ cutting off my dick.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully that wasn too go awful. My tumblr is shipperwithakeyboard if anyone's interested. Hopefully I'll have something else up soon.


End file.
